I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
