so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
