If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
