I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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