He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
