he wants to bone in the snuggie
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We are two peas in an std pod
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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