I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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