I hate your face
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
