he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
This house was built for laser tag.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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