I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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