butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
They have beer where we have blood.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
