i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
