Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
