does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
