Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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