why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
