is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
