I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
