So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Michael Bay diarrhea
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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