She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
