Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize