I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
