i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
