He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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