She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
