i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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