Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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