he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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