Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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