No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I want a musical about memes.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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