Sry I called you an 8
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Ketchup is God's man juice
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize