so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
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