Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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