hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dicks are not precious.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
