The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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