and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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