zippers are such a cool invention
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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