we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
