im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
