Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize