it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
