Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I don't deserve a penis
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize