**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
