Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
