I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Randomize
