So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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