just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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