last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
