I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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