i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
