Soap is not a condiment
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
