I just made out with a guy for $7.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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