she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
