I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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