so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
