things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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