First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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