I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
