When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She announced her abortion via fbk
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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