it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
either way he was missing a nipple.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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