YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
