a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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