there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
