If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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