I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
