i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize