Christians are straight up FREAKS
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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