Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
