you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
