he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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