Its about making memories worth repressing
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
