If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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