your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
