we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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