am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
