So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize