I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
