We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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